Chapter I
Life is what happens while you try to decide what to do when you grow up.
My living on the face of the planet at first seemed to be a very short arrangement. I was born in Austin, Texas in 1941, and seemed unable to get nourishment from any liquid available. The doctors in the hospital told my mom that I would probably not live for another 2 hours.
"Have you tried goat milk?" asked a neighbor who just happened to have a goat. I tried it and my life was on its way. |
* * *
I loved the outdoors. I was sure the only reason I was never chosen first for baseball was because I did not have a glove. Everyone else had a glove. Most had gloves that their dads had chosen with them and treated with something called 'neat's-foot oil'. I figured a 'neat' was some kind of road kill you extracted from your radiator. I talked Mom into buying me a first baseman's mitt because then I could play first base or catcher. Didn't take long to figure out that even with the right glove you had to be able to catch the ball. Oh well. |
* * *
Several months later, I could tell there was something wrong. I was 14 years of age, 5ft 8in tall and weighed 72 pounds. I ate twice as much food as all the other five members of my family put together. I had become a good golf player but had run into a problem playing in a junior tournament. I kept selecting the right club, approaching the ball and before taking the shot, passing out and falling down. After three days in the hospital the doctors finally took a blood test and found I was diabetic. I started taking a shot of insulin every morning. |
Chapter III
Finding the true strength of life is knowing what you are being offered.
I arrived in a town just south of San Francisco - Palo Alto - Silicon Valley. John Dufford was attending Stanford and had offered me a couch for one month. |
John was an unusual person indeed. He lived in a log cabin in the middle of Palo Alto surrounded by trees and weeds. He had 2 girlfriends. Each knew about the other. He had constructed this elaborate system of having good ventilation in the trunk of his car.
He had a secret with each of them. He would pick one up first and place her comfortably in the trunk. He would then pick up his date, have a hamburger at the local hot spot and drive to this wooded area and make out. Neither knew that he also did this with the other. |
* * *
It was with John that I had my first drug experience, morning glory seeds. You could buy the seeds then at the flower market. John took them to Safeway and ground as many as possible before he saw a clerk approaching.
I always wondered about those customers buying and grinding coffee beans after the Stanford students. Concluded that it was this leftover coffee mixed with the seeds that made me sick instead of 'turned on and tuned in'. |
Chapter IV
Love, marriage and beginning a career.
* * *
I responded to an ad in the newspaper which read 'must be logically inclined with no exposure to the computer world.'
I interviewed. They hired me. |
I went to work for the Advanced Planning Department at Crocker Citizens Bank (California's 4th largest). My job was to go to very high level meetings and interrupt when I saw a hole in what was being proposed. When I look back now, it was like having a job as the 'village idiot' in corporate America.
IBM had a new machine called the 360 which had something called an Operating System to replace the 1401 Autocoder machines. The question in a meeting was how can the computer know when a card it is reading is a JCL (operating system) card or a data card. I listened and interrupted. |
"It's easy. Just use red cards for the JCL and regular white cards for data".
Do you know the humiliation of having nine grown men looking at you that way? My boss announced loudly so everyone would hear: "OK Ron, we are sending you to computer school right now."
And thus did I get training to become a fully accredited Autocoder/1401 Set A Wordmark programmer by spending 2 days with Jerry Ridley and Bruce Wilson.
So began a 40 year career in mainframe computers (with a few side trips between contracts). |
Chapter VIII
More surprises in the workplace.
* * *
Every six months at Bechtel, there was a weird surprise ritual for the engineers there. The upper level managers would set up tables outside and precisely at 8 o'clock they would lock all but one door. Work began at 8. All employees passing through the door after 8 would have their badges confiscated and given to their managers. They would thus have to explain why they were late and if they were caught being late two times they would be fired.
On the mornings when they did this, the line of engineers quietly standing in single file went down the street for blocks. Each dutifully turned in his/her badge and disappeared into the doorway. The tables were promptly removed at 10 o'clock or when the line ended. |
Because I was always late, on these mornings I would go for coffee until 10 o'clock, enter the building and apologize to my manager for being late. No record. No hassle. Never could have been an engineer.
* * *
[On vacation with his wife, Bonita, and children Veronika and Tyler.]
As we were driving across the Texas border, the kids asked "Dad, why did you ever leave Texas anyway?"
"Kids, I left Texas because I seemed to be constantly at odds with most of the people I met there. Don't know why, but that was the way it was for me."
Just then, a siren went on and red lights flashed. I pulled over. A Texas highway patrolman sauntered over and said: |
"Do you know you were doing 58 in a 55 mile zone?"
"No."
"Well, I am going to give you only a warning this time".
I signed the 'warning' and handed the copy to Bonita, who started laughing so hard that tears were streaming down her face.
"Let me read you what you just signed":
"The State of Texas has determined you to be a menace to Texas society".
My kids now understood what I was talking about.
|
